As part of the ongoing War on Terrorism, police in Boston have arrested two "terrorists" who were thought to have planted explosive devices throughout the city.
These evildoers planted nine electronic devices throughout the greater Boston area. The devices blinked and at least one of them displayed a cartoon image of a character with his middle figure raised.
Obviously, a blinking cartoon character with its middle finger raised presents a grave security threat, and in response, local anti-terrorism officials went into high gear. Highways, bridges, subways, bus stations, and a section of the Charles River were shut down. As the devices were discovered throughout Boston, crack anti-terrorist forces were mobilized.
However, as the bomb squads moved in, the devices were found not to contain bombs, but blinking advertisements for a late-night cartoon called "Aqua Teen Hunger Force." The cartoon airs as part of a late-night block of programs for adults on the Cartoon Network
The series centers on the adventures of several fast-food items that have come to life; a talking milkshake, French fries, and meatball. It includes two characters, named Ignignokt and Err, who made the obscene hand gesture depicted on the devices.
Turner Broadcasting, parent company of Cartoon Network, said the devices had been in place for weeks in nine other major U.S. cities, including New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago. No other city decided they were a security threat.
And what of the "terrorists" who installed the devices? Sean Stevens, 28, and Peter Berdovsky, 27, have been arrested and accused of violating a Massachusetts law that makes it a crime to place an "infernal machine" in public. (I'm not making this up—it's actually in the law.) Each of them faces up to five years imprisonment plus fines of up to US$5,000, or both.
There's little doubt that the Aqua Teen Hunger Force security fiasco will go down in the annals of hysterical over-reactions to security threats. It will have plenty of company—the hairpin wielding grandmother denied boarding of an airliner, the tourist taking snapshots of the Golden Gate Bridge detained for questioning, along with countless other examples.
This is a classic example of "security theater"—focusing on a bogus threat to security, to instill a sense of urgency in the public and to satisfy taxpayers that authorities are vigilant. In the meantime, I have little doubt that there are still plenty of real criminals on the streets of Boston, who are not being arrested or tried due to police and legal resources being devoted to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force threat.
Welcome to the War on Terror. I suspect there will be plenty more examples like this one before it concludes.
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