No, I don't have anything against the United Kingdom. And I realize that only last week I wrote about how local authorities are using anti-terrorism laws to prosecute dog owners for not cleaning up dog poop. But a new initiative from the U.K. Office for National Statistics (ONS) takes the proverbial cake.
The intrepid bureaucrats at the ONS have devised a new sex survey. They're fanning out across the United Kingdom to make random visits to over 200,000 homes. The survey has 2,000 questions about your sex life. (No, that's not a misprint.)
Among other minutiae, the government wants to know who you have sex with, what toys you use while you have sex, if you insert any devices into your body cavities during sex, and details of your past sexual relationships. The cost of this survey comes to a little under US$7 million annually.
And the benefits? Well, the ONS will be able to release revealing snapshots of British sexual practices, such as this one from the ONS press release that revealed that one in eight women between the ages of 16 and 50 and one in six men under 70 had not had sex in the past year.
Once you answer the 2,000-question survey, there won't be much if anything private in your life if you live in the United Kingdom. The government knows you name, your address, where you work, your phone numbers, your national insurance number, and your bank account numbers. It also has the details of your mortgage, credit rating, car registration, and any arrests and convictions you have on file. Through a nationwide network of closed circuit cameras, officials can follow you pretty much anywhere you go.
And now, thanks to this survey, that includes your bedroom.
Can the Brits top this? I don't see how—but I'll be watching, too. Not your bedroom, but for evidence of the next taxpayer-financed boondoggle.
Copyright © 2008 by Mark Nestmann
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